Square Pegs Vol 1: The day the mask finally slipped. My Late Diagnosed ADHD Story.
- sarah89335
- Feb 4
- 6 min read
Welcome to the very first edition of Square Pegs.
I’ve spent most of my life trying to shave off my edges to fit into the round holes of "normal" adulthood and corporate expectations. If you’ve ever felt like you’re working twice as hard just to perform "fine," this newsletter is for you.
To kick things off, I want to share the story of how I found out I wasn't "broken" or "lazy", I was just late diagnosed ADHD.
In spring 2023, I hit a wall. I wasn't just tired; I was mentally bankrupt.
I needed to take extended time off work, I was initially supported by increasing my antidepressants, access to NHS cognitive behavioural therapy and I started private hypnotherapy sessions.
During my time off I finally opened up to my parents about my struggles. Since the age of 16 I have always felt different, I’ve struggled with periods of low mood, chronic tiredness and what I now know as overwhelm.
My go to move in these times was to think it was all down to my job. I would get 18 months into a job and then leave, thinking the change and excitement of a new job would get me over the depression. This time felt different, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to find a way to stay at a company that has a great culture and really lovely people.
As I opened up about my struggles of not feeling good enough, having a continuous voice in my head and struggling with daily life, my mum suggested I read through an info pack that she was sent after doing a ADHD in girls training at her School.
As I opened the document I was confronted with many facts that opened my eyes:
It’s estimated that between 60 and 80% of people with ADHD will have another neurodiverse diagnosis (Comorbidity) . I was diagnosed with Dyslexia at University.
Approximately 30% of people with ADHD are behind their peers for emotional maturity. I went to university 3 years later and have always felt behind my friends.
Many women are diagnosed in their 30s and 40s due to being wrongly diagnosed with a mental health condition. I was put on antidepressants over 15 years ago after telling my GP that I felt I was pretending to be who I should be and had a continuous inner monologue of negative thoughts.
The document then went on to cover how ADHD can show up in girls (aimed at nursery school teachers), and as I read through the list of things to look out for I found myself ticking off every item.
✔️Emotional dysregulation
✔️Masking (although at the time I didn’t know what this meant)
✔️Always seeking reassurance
✔️Blaming themselves for being stupid
✔️Rejection sensitivity dysphoria
✔️Mimicking others
✔️Taking criticism extremely personally
✔️Perfectionism
What followed (I now know as ‘hyperfocus’), was an intense need to find out as much as I could about ADHD. Turning to social media and any resources I could find, I finally spoke to my GP about my suspicions.
The practice nurse I spoke with was so helpful, I had read about the postcode lottery when it comes to GP support for ADHD so I was really happy and relieved with how the initial conversation went. I’d done my research, so asked for the ‘right to choose’ pathway, and was given a form to fill in. The form had a lot of questions based on the diagnostic criteria for ADHD and was rather overwhelming. My mind was muddled and making logical sense of my thoughts onto this form felt impossible.
I was given the most amazing gift when the Nurse saw my overwhelm and offered to translate my thoughts onto the form. She asked me to just write anything down, which I did over the next 2 weeks and went back with my notes. In classic ADHD style they were written on random bits of paper, envelopes, the back of letters, anything that was to hand as the thought entered my head.
With the form submitted in August 2023 the wait began.
I’d been given a timescale of up to 3 years, I kept in touch with my GP, continued my hypnotherapy, and accessed support through the culture at my then employer OVO. I joined the Neurodiversity network and started to talk more about being self-diagnosed ADHD.
I kept waiting.
In December 2024, I felt the all too familiar low mood and overwhelm creeping back in, then in January 2025 I lost my Grannie and sunk into a bad place, requiring me to take another extended amount of time away from corporate life. During this time, I was in regular contact with my GP and during a 1 hour mental health appointment (I love my GPs!), the emotional side of ADHD was discussed. At this point I’d been on the waiting list for 15 months and had heard nothing.
Turns out somewhere along the lines my email address had not been given to ‘the right to choose provider’, and they had in turn not asked my GP for it. Meaning my application was lost in the system. I felt deflated, 15 months for nothing.
Luckily, it was not for nothing. I felt the urgency of the situation and it pushed me to focus on getting it sorted. The provider - Psychiatry UK was easy to get hold of, and within 30 minutes we had worked out the problem (re the email) and rectified it. Thank you ADHD for my super power in problem solving! Turns out I was at the top of the waiting list and they were about to discharge me due to not having heard from me, due to me never receiving the emails!
I was given 48 hours to create my online account and fill in multiple forms including ones my parents had to fill in (without that time pressure I wonder if I would have been able to focus on getting it all done). I submitted it and was given a date for my assessment with a Psychiatrist.
Then hit imposter syndrome.
What if I don’t actually have ADHD, and I am just lazy, stupid and not good enough?
In the run up to my appointment, I reached out to the network at work to find out more about what to expect, people were so generous with their time and comments, and I also spent time with someone in my team who was diagnosed themselves with ADHD at 16. This helped to calm my nerves about the appointment.
The appointment in April 2025 was a blur. I remember being asked to stop talking so much and answer some questions with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ but I don’t remember much other than it ending with ‘yes Sarah you do have combined type ADHD’.
How did I feel?
I felt relieved that there was an answer to my struggles, I felt sad that if it had been picked up sooner my life might have been different, and I also felt denial. I’ve coped for 39 years thinking I had anxiety and was just a bit crap at life so I found it very difficult to be kind to myself, even though there was now a reason.
Post diagnosis was even harder, it’s a journey I am dealing with slowly, 1 step at a time. I’ve been having ADHD coaching, I am on a waiting list for medication and support from access to work. I have also been connecting with other people who have had a late diagnosis. People in my life have been so encouraging and supportive. Communication and experimentation is key as I navigate the new me.
It's been a journey of unmasking, and honestly, it's still scary. I'm still figuring out who the "real Sarah" is beneath 39 years of performance.
But here is what I know for sure: Community is the antidote to the shame of being "different."
I’m no longer interested in fitting in. I’m interested in helping other square pegs 🟧 find their fit, on their own terms.
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How I can help you right now:
I’ve taken everything I learned from 15 years in HR and my own late diagnosed ADHD journey to create Sarah Elizabeth Consulting. I work with people and businesses who are tired of the "round hole" approach.
For the Individual: If you’re a leader or a professional navigating a late diagnosis (or just feeling like a misfit), I offer 1:1 ADHD-informed coaching. We’ll work on your "manual," clear the burnout, and help you find your purpose without the performance.
For the Team: I help businesses build neuro-inclusive cultures where people like me don't just "survive", we thrive.
Are you tired of squeezing? If this story resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. Send me a DM and we can chat about how we can make "different" your greatest strength.
Stay Square,
Sarah
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